Memories and Secrets

 This is an old one, that has taken decades to finish, although I suspect it will never be finally finished and will always be a work in progress. When you’re young, and if you can stay young, there is always danger, originality, first discoveries, imagination and dreams in your heart for the future to deal with, and occasionally literal cliff edges, beauty, deep blue waters and places to escape to.

 

 

Memories and Secrets

 

 

Back then we all had secrets,

private and treasured

when we were young and new

with impetuous hearts

wide-eyed at life, drinking in hard

 

secrets of cliff edges that held our breathe,

hidden beauty we thought only we could see,

of secret places to swim in deep blue waters,

and to fly to at night, while others slept

 

secrets of fires, and fears and foolishness

some shared, confessed with strict boundaries,

loosened out at the end of exhausting days,

 

all those secret places are in another country now

does the recollection of summer bring a glow to your skin ?

do you have enough memories to keep you warm through the winter ?

now we are older and those secrets are lifeless, even the raging fires

 

without memories what is a man?

without knowledge of his own history

his anchors, his secret places

his pivotal moments and formative years

the crutches when his heart was broken, deceived,

or lifted in victory and triumph

 

without memories what is a man?

is he free, or merely a shell?

Unbound, or lost forever?

 

Fences

 

Fences

 

 

The last time we met

on opposite sides of the fence

he asked why I was there.

I believed it was the side to be on.

He told me what I was risking

nothing I didn’t already know

stated the danger to my family, my future

nothing we hadn’t already overcome

how I didn’t owe anyone anything

that I had to look after what was mine.

That’s not how I want to live

I chose to be here, on this side of the fence

 

Of course I’d rather be there

on that side of the fence,

protected, comfortable, immune.

More than this I want the fence taken down

these are people not cattle, nor criminal

while the fence is staying up

I’ll help as many through, before I claim my right to passage.

 

He said I was risking nothing and proving nothing

but it seemed to be bothering him enough

to mock me and call me a part-time martyr

I hope somewhere inside he was embarrassed

at wanting to be free to join me, if only for a moment.

You could die here, they could clear the place, and deny you.

Die here or die there, what’s the difference

 

Safety is a luxury

but dreams are essential, essential as blood and air.

This freedom to choose is a privilege

too valuable to ignore, too precious to hide away

Comfort complacency suspicion, these are criminal

He reminded me Charity begins at home.

This is my home, I intend to be charitable

 

The Glorious Restructure

 A poem about a situation many of us have faced many times in our working lives, this was prompted by a particulalry drastic version - I'm over it hope you are too:

 

The Glorious Restructure

 

 

We set sail unaware, and then

one third must go they said

it's all we can afford

and those who remain will be empowered

to work another half again

we’ll work smarter not harder they said

but smarter sounded like harder after all

 

we'll pay you to jump now,

or less to jump later

and then we won't pay you to jump at all,

just sink, or swim

 

empire building with heads in the clouds

has emptied out the funds

it seems we are not carrying gold

but only bricks and mortar

 

each third oar was empty

pull harder was the cry

and life jackets must be worn

if they don’t square the books

we’ll all be walking the plank

 

now I am rearranged

three in place of five

hearts and souls withdrawn, reserved,

held in cheque

resilience thin where loyalty lay

 

we’ve reduced the weight, made it easier for you,

so row faster, otherwise we’ll all sink

we didn’t need them, just filling seats,

and pulling oars we didn’t need

 

never mind what's always been said

'it's the staff that make this place'

never mind just to see where the pieces fall,

and some will fall to pieces

 

we’ll work smarter not harder they said

but smarter was harder after all.